To my unborn daughter

To my unborn daughter,

The thought of ever being separated from you against my will fills my "very soul with horror".  The conditions under which I now live I do not intend to bring you into.  I truly love your future father, but I am not satisfied being married to him within our current circumstances and I refuse to start a family by him at this moment.  I was torn away from the loving arms of my sweet mother as a child.  Though I cannot fully fathom the pain she experienced, I can imagine it, and I have felt my own share of sorrow.  My sorrows come from seeing her face as I was brought away from her as well as seeing the faces and hearing the stories of other mothers such as her self.  I do not want to bring you into this world "to linger out a miserable existence under the wretched system of American slavery".  For these reasons, though I have agreed to marry your future father under the consent of our masters, I do not view our marriage as the all powerful bond it is intended to be by the Lord.  There is a power held over both of us and our union that is stronger than the knot we have tied, though not stronger than our love.  I will not consider myself a true and devoted wife until I can live with my husband in freedom, and only then, my daughter, can your existence be considered.   

The solution then must be to escape from this wretched condition.  Your future father and I are in the process of constructing a plan in order to carry out this daunting task.  We have nearly come to a solid agreement on how this can be carried out.  I will use a disguise to fool all those who we come into contact with on our journey away from here.  Because of my fair complexion and resemblance to a white person, I will dress up as a white male, and your father will be my slave.  Though this is the strongest plan we have come up with, the idea of it disturbs me deeply.  I will be putting on the role of the terrible creature who has brought me to the despair I now live in, the slave master.  I will be acting out the role of the being who routinely dehumanizes, violates, and controls innocent beings such as myself and all those I care for.  This costume will be of a man who could have taken the innocence away from sweet young girls such as who you will one day be.  To play this role I will also have to treat my dear husband as my property.  This task will be trying, but I do it all for you.  I also do it for myself and my sanity so that I can lead the life I deserve to, and one that will be pleasing to God.

I look forward to meeting you soon once this whole plan has been executed and is over with.

All my love,
Your mother,
Ellen Craft