Maize and Sunshine

Dear "Mi madre hermosa,"

I am sorry that it has taken me so long to send you this letter. You've probably been worried terribly. I balled up hundreds of letters before I was barely satisfied with my words. I'm tired of starting over. I just need you to know I'm alright. I'm sure you remember the day when I decided to stop attending school. After Papa died, I just knew that I had to take care of you and my little brothers and sisters. It didn't matter that I was only fourteen. School wasn't as important as my responsibility to be a man of the house. Your oldest son, Luis, my big brother, owned a store in Calvillo, but the three pesos I received from him each week, if lucky, just weren't enough to help. Luis would help us out more, but he had already started a big family of his own fifteen years ago, and he struggled to keep his small plot of farmland.

So, it was, and it still is, up to me to make sure that my family won't starve. I'll never forget the stories you told me every night when I was seven years old. You told me about the magical powers of maize...how gazing upon it would bring you the gift of growth. My eyes would open wide with excitement. My young heart was hungry for maize. I believe that my heart still beats every day because I'll never lose the sight of it in my mind.

After leaving Calvillo at seventeen, I spent five years working in a hotel in Aguascalientes. I met strangers who couldn't stop telling me about the great life that I could make in the United States. They would say, "All you have to do is take the train, and cross the border to new beginnings." Every time I tried to picture myself crossing the border, I would always see maize. I just knew I could taste my dream on the other side.

Now, I live in Southern California. The air is familiar. Sometimes, I laugh, and tell myself that it's probably what the land smelled like back when it was still Mexico. I work hard, day in and day out, in the citrus fields, and it's bittersweet just like a lemon. I miss home from time to time, but I'm making more money than I would have back in Calvillo. Soon, I'll be sending plenty of my savings back home. I may not be in Mexico anymore, but the faith in the maize still lives in me!

I love you, and one day, I'll have enough money saved to bring all of you to California with me. Until then, keep your eyes on the maize.

With love,
Julian Ruiz

P.S. tell my dear sister, Maria, that I thank her so much for her savings she gave me when I was seventeen. They have helped me so much