Dear Diary,
Today was ever so eventful and a little overwhelming I might add! I was invited and attended a close get-to-gether with Clare Bellew and Irene Redfield! Such a long time since I have seen the two of them! We had a pleasant time catching up, talking about our individual lives, and it got me thinking about a few things. Clare and I where talking away about this whole light/dark problem among colored people, not realizing that Irene's young boy is dark! Oh, we felt so badly after that! But can you imagine? Having a dark child? Scares me every instance I think about it! I know I am colored, and I do not hide it from my family and husband, bless his soul, but what if I could not hide it at all? Clare's life is an interesting one, not for me of course, too much lying and pretending. I could not lie to Fred! He's my husband after all! But what if we couldn't go to the same clubs, and dining areas, from time to time because of my darkness? What if the first and most immediate thing people saw when they looked at me was my skin color? What a dreadful disposition!
I feel badly for Irene, you know. She could not possibly go anywhere with her son without people knowing that she was colored. Or even her husband? What an interesting choice on her part. I refuse to have anymore children, just because of that possibility! Nobody wants a dark child! Not just for my sake, of course, but for my children! Such a thing would be so hard on them! They would be called names in school, or even harassed like some people! How dreadful! How dreadful!
Oh diary, and we officially met Mr. Bellew, Jack. I do not like him at all. He was so against colored people and so blatantly! How does Clare live like that? Having to live with that kind of a secret for years and years, hiding from your husband? Hiding from your children? How sad it is. Clare is like that I guess. But how uncomfortable that was for us! Oh Lord! I know Irene tried to be calm, but I could tell she was bothered too! Things like that do not happen when your around your friends, your people. I don't think Irene has much experience interacting with white people either you know. White people are of a different breed. They are just not conscious of those things like we have to be, so they're ever so absent minded and blunt about it, well except for Fred of course. So glad he knows. Could not live in fear like that I tell you.
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