A Lost Letter

[This is meant to be a letter Claire sends prior to her running into Irene in Chicago that was meant to explain her absence before she might meet up with Irene, but it got lost in the mail so they have their more uncomfortable exchange on the rooftop] 

Dear Irene,

I hope this letter finds you well and that the twelve years since I last  saw you have been kind to you. I have returned to Chicago and would very much like to see you while I am here although I am not entirely sure the feeling is mutual. I am sure you have heard a whole host of rumors surrounding my supposed “disappearance”, many of which place me in all kinds of potentially compromising situations with White men. This is why I wanted to write you, to clear some of these rumors up before I just run into you in the street.

My life since leaving you has been somewhat of a contradiction, I’ve gained many freedoms by passing as white, people look at me and treat me much better, but I’ve had to completely avoid my family and any other friends. This is why I have chosen to write to you, so if I do see you, you will understand how to act and comport yourself. I simply cannot have everyone knowing where I come from or who I used to be. My husband would die if he ever found out he was really married to a Negro.

I have really gotten on well in this new world though I must say, these people are not so crash and loud as our old group. It is really true what the newspapers and radio says about who is and isn’t civilized, I know it because I see it first hand. That’s another reason this whole business of passing isn’t so bad, I don’t have to fight so hard against everyone thinking I’m a prostitute or some sort of deviant. Jack says it all the time that you simply can’t unlearn such things, he told me, that it’s a cabaret culture, its there where you get the “excess in dancing, jungle laughter…and jazz music is carried to the extreme”, that’s why I can’t go back. This whole charade used to be just about money but now its really a way of life, and eve though I know I’ll never really be white, I can at least avoid being Black for a while yet.

I’m afraid I might be rambling now, but I wanted to post this letter so that we might see each other one last time while I’m here with my husband on business, and so you might know more than rumors about my story. I hope to run into you, and if I do please know you may not recognize me, I have changed substantially, but if you do try not to give me away, my entire life is invested in this new identity.

If you do wish to meet up, please send for me at the Drayton Hotel, and if not I can understand it has been so many years you may feel as though I abandoned you and everyone else.

Sincerely yours,

Claire

This is a picture of a Cabaret, my favorite quote is of "jazz in excess", this might be an image of just that.