Lucky or Unlucky?

Journal entry 5

        I have never had the pleasure of living an easy life. Since the age of 12 I have had to struggle to make it on my own, especially before coming to America. Those were dark times and even though I was 12 years old, fate was able to bestow upon me years of wisdom from my struggles and difficult life experiences. Whether it was managing my money so that I was able to survive on my way here or even finding a ship that would take me. I still remember those days below the ship. The heavy aroma of smoke in the air, gambling and storytelling to keep ourselves busy and of course the numerous immigrants like myself desperate to find our way to America, the land of opportunity. Regardless of my situation then, I was determined to make it.

        I worked hard to get where I am today, however, I do realize there was some luck in me being able to become the person I am today. Thankfully, I was adaptable and smart for my age and was able to weave through various new opportunities presented or "allowed" to me by these whites. Who knew a simple houseboy would slowly move his way to a middleman and broker for his people? I could have easily have become lost amongst the masses of Chinese immigrants who were the target of racially charged attacks, jobless, homeless and forced to work in horrid conditions to support themselves or their entire family.

        Thankfully, some of my struggles were alleviated when I had someone by my side for support, my wife Mary Tape. She too has had a rough past being brought from a steamship and being thrown into the world of prostitution. Luck, however, was on her side when she was rescued by Protestant missionaries. Of course, I didn't know of this when I met her in San Francisco Chinatown, but I do feel these challenges we faced are what brought us together.
       
        Even after taking a moment to realize just how far we have come and all that we have accomplished, I still find it hard to call myself "lucky" being in a nation that seems to do everything it can to hold us down and kick us out. "Anti-coolie" violence, fear of the "yellow peril" and exclusionary laws and practices all prove this to be true. Luck in this case seems to be dependent on a person's point of view. Though when compared to much of my peoples current circumstances I may seem lucky, I am also extremely unlucky to be Chinese in a White dominated society and to have the added stress of needing to help my people.