Monday, March 4, 2013

From Herman to Mr. Tape


February 1897

Dear Diary,
            I wish I could send the following letter, but I could not find the courage to mail it.  It would cause my dear Mamie far too much pain.  But I will attach it, so that I will never turn into Mr. Tape, even if I become the man he always wanted Mamie to marry.

Dear Mr. Tape,
            I am writing you to describe to you how upset Mamie is because you and Mrs. Tape decided not to join us for New Year's last week.  Mr. Tape, I understand you were upset by our elopement, but we only eloped because we knew we would never get your blessing.
            There are many things I have meant to say to you over the years.  You have never tried to hide your disdain for my background so at least I knew who I would be dealing with if I decided to continue my relationship with Mamie.  But I never thought you would distance yourself as you have these past months.  Your hypocrisy is astounding.  You were not born rich.  You made yourself a great life.  Why have you disregarded my potential so quickly?  You are so adamant about being an American.  You value Americanness so highly.  Does my being born in America mean nothing to you?  Yes, I was born in Chinatown.  But, though I think you often ignore this, Chinatown is in America.  Though I have never been to China, I know that we have created here a space that is unlike the villages and cities back home and different from the towns and cities that dominate the American landscape.  We have created a unique space for the Chinese inhabitants of San Francisco that I am proud of.  You should be too.  I am American.  But I am also Chinese.  Though it seems as if you cannot grasp this concept, I am both.
            Mamie has recalled some of her childhood these past weeks, as she has attempted to create a family in me since you have deserted her.  She brought up the story about your attempt to get her into a white children's school.  At first, I thought this was a story of integration.  I was surprised!  I felt a shift in my thinking about you.  You were doing something to help our community!  But alas, I was wrong.  You were trying to distance yourself from us and show that Mamie and your family should have not been excluded because you weren't like other Chinese.  As I pondered it, I realized that you could not have produced someone like Mamie if you hated Chinese people.  You have instilled in her some pride in her heritage, even if you tried to teach her to suppress it when whites were around.  She would have never married me if she had been taught her whole life that Chinese were not worthy.  So I realized you have been in a position where you have had to constantly navigate your white life while still maintaining connections to the Chinese community.
            Your case shows how ambivalent the Chinese middle class has become here in San Francisco.  They don't know how to balance their class and their race.  They want the perks of being accepted in white society, while benefitting from the Chinese community as well.  They know they are Chinese and don't want to be degraded for it, yet they degrade other Chinese for being "too" Chinese.  Your wife, in an article that Mamie showed me, wrote "My children don't dress like other Chinese.  They look just as phunny amongst them as the Chinese dress in Chinese look amongst you Caucasians" (55).  Here, your wife degrades the way Chinese dress just because white people do not wear the same clothes.  She has made us inferior in her own mind because we are too Chinese.  When Mamie was reading the article to me, it hurt her to think that her parents felt Chinese dress was not as worthy as white dress.
            And yet you make all of your money off of us.  Your family prospers because society has created differences between whites and Chinese.  If it hadn't, the steamship company would have never needed you to transport Chinese passengers because they would just be passengers.  But no, that is not the world we live in.  Your company exists because white Americans have created a world where we are less.  I hope one day you will recognize this.
            Your higher class has allowed you to separate yourself as wholly as possible from most Chinese in the Bay.  You class has allowed you to look down on me and my family, even though we are hardworking.  Even though our families share similar heritage.  You try to live this white life, but you will never be one of them.  Unless you learn to accept us, you will always be living an in-between life - disdaining us while never being able to convince them entirely that you aren't like us.

Your son-in-law,
Herman

Photo: The type of dress Mr. Tape would have wanted Herman to wear all the time.  Source: http://berkeleyheritage.com/essays/joseph_tape.html

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