How was this ever real?

Dear Constituents,

This political body has come to a decision that will be of great interest to many of you and your various properties.  We have decided that it would be beneficial to the development and success of this society to part with one silly English tradition.  As it was in the past, a child born was to be placed in a position of social standing next to that of their father.  However, it seems as if this tradition and way of carrying out the structure of our society is no longer the most beneficial for us all.  From now on, a child born will instead be in the position and ranking of their mother.  Though our ties are often to the English, with this matter we are going to side with the Romans and follow this rule known as “partus sequitur ventrem”.

Why do we feel the need for this change you may ask?  The answers are rather simple.  It has been brought to our attention that there is a presence of sexual relationships taking place between white males and black slave women.  Though some of us are unsure why this is taking place because it is unclear why a respectable man with clean, white skin would want to lay with a person of such dirty complexion, a man is free to do as he wishes and act on his impulses, especially when dealing with his own property.  The problem, however, that then arises is the offspring that come from these relations.  It seems painfully obvious to us that just because a white man uses his property as he wishes, in this case to fulfill a sexual whim, does not mean that the side effects that come from this relation should be given a higher status in society than the property that births them. 

If a man purchases a table from a furniture salesman and then decides to manipulate it as he wishes, such as by sawing the table into two pieces to create a second table, there is no issue.  The table is his property so he may do with it as he wishes.  This new table that has been created by his hand is also still a piece of property.  Just as the table it was created from is a piece of furniture, so to is the new creation simply a piece of furniture.  Just because this second table was made by a man does not mean that it is able to be considered a man.  It is only a piece of furniture!  How is this any different than the offspring created by a white man with a slave woman?  Surely it is not.  If a slave woman becomes impregnated by a white male, this child is to remain classified just as her mother is.  The child does not get to be considered an equal to its father so easily.  The child is birthed by a piece of property and must therefore also remain as such.  Imagine what kind of world we’d be living in if people of all different colors and mixes of complexions were to be walking around as equals! That would be just simply absurd.  So in order to keep this atrocity from happening, this will be the new law of the land.

-The Virginia House of Burgesses