Dearest James,
It’s been a few months now since I
have joined you and Mr. Jefferson here in Paris. My time here so far has been
mostly disorienting but at times quite thrilling. I feel compelled to write
because, though we live in the same household, we do not often get a chance to
speak and I feel compelled to discuss all I have seen.
Paris
is so different from Virginia, I feel as though the ground has been pulled from
under my feet. I sometimes reflect on how I spend my days and am not quite sure
how the time passes. And yet, being here has opened up my mind to possibilities
that I never even realized existed when I was back in Virginia. Everywhere
there is talk of true freedom for all and though Mr. Jefferson was always
generous with us back home, nothing compares to the freedom he has allowed us
here in Paris. I feel like I am becoming my own woman—able to earn a wage and
participate in high society along with our dear Patsy. I know it’s not the same
and I am just there as her companion, but I still can’t help but feel myself
blossom under the weight of my new silk dresses and the gazes of men at the
dances. I feel
James,
how do you feel about the changes that have been happening here? What do you
think of these new Enlightenment ideas? I feel that you must adore them as
you’ve secretly held these views your entire life and are only now getting the
chance to hear them expressed publicly. Do you think they will change our
relationship with Mr. Jefferson? It already feels as though we are somehow a
closer unit since there are many fewer people here than back home. I know it’s
been nice for me to come back to a house where I can see a few familiar faces
and understand the language, so I assume it must be similar for him as well. He
is a knowledgeable man of the world, though, so perhaps that is a silly notion.
But it does seem that he takes more care with us, making sure that we are
adjusting and have mobility to explore our new surroundings. Sometimes we even
have light conversations during the day when not many people are around and in
that time I momentarily forget our true relationship and see him more as a
friend.
I
know in my head that we are still slaves, but in my heart it somehow feels so
different! I don’t know quite how to put my feelings into words. Are you scared
of what life will be like once we return to Virginia? How will we be able to
once again be content with the confinement of our roles and the smallness of
farm life? I know Mr. Jefferson has always been generous with our position in
the household but it still doesn’t begin to compare to our lives here. Perhaps
we should just enjoy this extraordinary opportunity as it is and then save it
to reflect upon later on when things are once again as they should be in
Virginia.
Let’s
please talk soon.
Your
Sister,
Sally
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